In preparation for a dreaded trial of dating apps myself, I decided to ask my friends and social media followers for their worst dating app stories, hoping to both prepare myself for the worst and give you something to cringe at.
So, over the past week, I have collected the most atrocious dating app stories from my peers and have narrowed them down to my favorite (while being someone else’s least favorite) dating app tales.
We Both “Forgot” Our Wallets
“I think the title is fairly self-explanatory,” this girl tells me, “me being me, I ‘forget’ (don’t judge me, we all do it) my wallet. Casually, as I usually do, I acted shocked and slightly aggravated with myself when I pick up my handbag and can’t seem to find my purse (which, in reality, was hiding in the bottom of my handbag). The guy I’m out with doesn’t seem to mind that much but he goes into the pocket of his jeans and I can almost feel his heart fall into the pit of his bowel — it seemed he had forgotten his wallet too.”
I had hoped she had kept her, admittedly cheap and tacky act going, but no, she continues, “We sit in silence for a few seconds. He had kept up a strong exterior for the date but looks increasingly awkward and confused over what the next appropriate move is. I wonder if I should keep my act of bull***t going, but the cringeworthiness of the situation begins to infiltrate into my gut – that’s when I impulsively pull my purse out of my bag and ask for the bill, refusing to make eye contact with him in a wave of shame.”
“What bothered me the most was his lack of reaction, so, gripping onto my last strand of pride I had left of that day, I arrive home and mention it in a very light-hearted jokey way over text, hoping to save whatever I can of this embarrassing situation – that’s when he tells me he was ‘well aware’ I had my purse on me, since he had spotted me shopping earlier but decided not to stop by and say hi pre-date. Continue reading «I Asked My Friends For Their Worst Dating App Stories, And They’re Atrocious»